I want you to make fun of me?

I'm going to tell you all I can about myself. And I want you to put me down. Make me feel like crap if you can? Ok for starters my physical appearance. I have a large head, (wear a sixe XXL cap), am 5'11" and weigh 260, have no friends, am 20 years old and have never done anything with a girl, not even kiss or date or even hold hands, have sucky grades, and hell I've been told I literally stink. So make fun of me. Or if you can think of something nice to say, i challenge you to. Say something about the man who looks as I described, and just can't get motivated to make himself better. Go ahead! Insult me!